Sasuke vs Naruto: Badmouth!
by Deadlyiris673
Summary: Just a little story about Naruto and Sasuke cursing about each other! Poor Sakura, had to listen to both of them make in fun of each other. My first story, so try to like it! Bit of sasusaku later...
1. Naruto's POV

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except plot and story!**

**This is my first story, so please enjoy!**

_Sasuke vs. Naruto: Badmouth!_

_Chapter One: Naruto's POV_

On an early morning, Naruto Uzumaki (AKA. Dimwit, baka, dobe, etc.), couldn't sleep all night because he was still angry from what happened during his last mission.

Let's just say that he got a mission to get rid of robberies somewhere near the stone village, when he happened to bump into the all-familiar, non-emotional, Sasuke Uchiha.

The encounter itself was just like all others. They get insult each other, Naruto gets pissed off, and they fight violently until someone or two people saw them.

And we all know that one of the two people was Sakura.

Sasuke just gave them a "hn", a way of saying "You're annoying as always", and ran off to his hideout where Team Hebi were waiting for him.

That got Naruto so mad that he complained the whole time about how much of a coward Sasuke was for not finishing their fight…again.

Sakura got so annoyed that she punched the hell out of Naruto, in the guts.

She punched him so hard that Naruto ended up crashing into Tsunade's office.

Poor Naruto, he got punched in the head 26 times and was scowled by the terrifying fifth Hokage.

So since Naruto knew that he couldn't sleep anytime sooner, he got dressed and went for a walk to the park.

When he got there, he sat down on one of the benches and looked up into the morning sky, thinking about what to do now.

Sakura was just passing by when she saw Naruto looking up to the sky and sitting on a bench.

She decided to go on and check on him.

As she was walking to him, she said cheerfully,"Hey Naruto, how are you?"

Naruto turned his head to look at her, in a very dead-looking way. " . .HIM" he said in a very dangerous matter.

Sakura looked at him, confused that she'd never seen him like this in her entire life.

"Going to kill who?" she asked with an eyebrow raised.

"SASUKE! WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?!" Naruto said with frustration and anger.

Sakura was not surprised since Naruto and Sasuke had always wanted to kill one another.

'What can I do to help Naruto calm down?' Sakura thought, while also thinking about ways to let her teammate feel relief from his stress.

"How about telling me what you're thinking about to calm you down?" Sakura suggested.

"WHAT?! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT?!" Naruto screeched as he looked at her as if she was insane as him not eating ramen for the rest of his life.

Sakura sighed; annoyed that Naruto still hasn't changed from acting like a four year old. Sometimes she wished she could teach Naruto a lesson on how to listen to what people are saying.

"Yes Naruto, that's exactly what I said. Tell me now or I'm leaving!" Sakura said with a soon-to-be-bored tone.

"Since you put it like that, I'll tell you what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about an icicle named Sasuke. This icicle hadn't been melting for ages. He left this village just so he can become stronger with this disgusting snake as his mentor. He got his revenge on his better-than-him-older-brother and he's still against Konoha! He looks like a bastard with no life! Also his hair looks like a duck-butt, for god's sake! His face is attractive, yet very annoying to look at!" Naruto said all with his fury that he held in towards Sasuke.

Sakura sweat-dropped, 'Talk about bad-mouthing one of your close friends who's now a distant enemy' she thought as Naruto blabbered on.

"I mean, c'mon man! How can girls even like him!? He's a bastard who's so stuck up that he think that he's the best of the best when he's 100% not likely! I bet that his children will be just like him! OH NO!" exclaimed Naruto.

"What's wrong, Naruto?" Sakura asked with a hint of worry.

"That means that I have to deal more Sasukes! WWWWAAAAAA!" cried Naruto.

Sakura couldn't believe that the hero of Konoha that was right in front of her was the world's biggest idiot.

"Oh, come on Naruto, he was planning to restore his bad-ass clan in the first place anyway. It's not like he's going to die without having at least one child to continue his legacy. Besides, I want to see who's the girl Sasuke's going to choose as the mother as his child." Sakura said sweetly, but she was really cracking her knuckles while thinking about ways to beat the crap out of both of them if that ever happened.

Naruto was still terrified of the image of more mini Sasukes calling him "Uncle Dobe".

Yet at the same time, they were both thinking that it's almost impossible for Sasuke to even get a wife. I mean, he doesn't even have the right social skills to get a girlfriend.

Not that he deserves to have a girlfriend **or boyfriend** at all.

Just then, Kakashi appeared from a cloud of smoke.

"Yo, what's up people?" he greeted, looking up from reading his book.

"SASUKE, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENING!" yelled out Sakura and Naruto, so loud that you can hear them for Suna.

Meanwhile in Suna, Gaara looked up from his work in confusion and asked, "What was that?"

Back in Konoha, Kakashi was surprised to see that he'd never seen Sakura so possessive and Naruto so terrified.

But oh well, they've been tons of times crazier as it was, so he put that aside.

"Mind explaining what do you two mean since Sasuke's not here" Kakashi stated as he was imagining Sasuke as his beloved ex-student, who he now think of him as an annoying avenger.

Sakura was still cracking her knuckles and Naruto was still imagining him being an uncle of annoying little brats who totally resembles their father.

"Oh, we were talking how much of a bastard and coward Sasuke is for not coming back to Konoha to admit his actions." Sakura implied in a very impolitely way.

"Yeah, right! And unfortunately, he's going to have children who's going to call me 'Uncle Dobe'" cried Naruto with not-so-innocent tears.

Kakashi knew his students when they're mad, and this is just one of those times. He also knew that Sasuke was planning on restoring his one hell of a clan.

But in Kakashi's version of thinking about it, was in a more M-rated image.

"I don't see anything wrong with Sasuke restoring his clan; it's his pride of the Uchiha." Kakashi stated as a fact that he respected in whatever Sasuke planned to do in his clan businesses.

Naruto finally calmed down and looked at Kakashi with an unreadable expression.

Kakashi looked back in worry. "What is it, Naruto?" he asked.

Naruto then smirked. "Time to treat me ramen, Kakashi-sensei!" he said in excitement.

Kakashi frowned in disappointment and shame for forgetting that bet he did with Naruto.

The day before they had the mission, he and Naruto betted on that if they see Sasuke, Kakashi would have to treat Naruto ramen for a month.

Too bad for Kakashi, he lost a bet for the first time in his life.

He would always win at the rate of bets that he did with Gai.

Kakashi sighed, "Fine, let's go" and then he and Naruto left.

Sakura watched them leave, and looked at her watch,

"OH MY GOSH! I'M LATE FOR WORK!" and off Sakura ran.

**THE END!**

**I know that I said some bad things about Sasuke, but don't that it too deeply, I LOVE HIM TOO YA KNOW!**

**I might consider making a ItachixDeidara fluff one-shot.**

**Also, I'll try to the one with Sasuke's POV as soon as I can!**

**Until then, SEE YA!**


	2. Sasuke's POV

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except plot and story!**

**Okay, maybe Sasuke's a little OOC, but never mind that, it's just a story. **

**Warning: There are many swear words in here, sorry!**

**This is still my first story, so please enjoy!**

_Sasuke vs. Naruto: Badmouth!_

_Chapter Two: Sasuke's POV_

As Sakura ran through the downtown of Konoha, on her way to work for Tsunade, she didn't sense that there was four figures following her, lurking in the shadows.

One of the figures had a ghost of a smirk, knowing that this part was going according to plan.

The other figures were wondering why the heck they even came there in the first place, especially the figure who had glasses.

When they saw that Sakura was running past them, and just on time, the first figure knocked her out with a single hit in the head…..really hard.

Five hours later…..

Sakura woke up, only to find that she wasn't in Konoha anymore.

With a grunt of frustration, she sat up from the bed she was lying on, and put her palm to her face as a sign of embarrassment.

"Calm down, Sakura. It's just another kidnapping with a way out as every other kidnapping." She tried to convince herself when it wasn't really working as she stood up and walked over to a wall.

Then, she heard footsteps coming towards the door of the room. She tried not to panicked, but other than that, she punched the wall and the wall collapsed, and away Sakura ran.

The person who was walking towards her room immediately ran after her so she wouldn't escape.

Sakura ran as fast as she can so she can go back home.

Then at that moment, she saw light coming out of a tunnel, IT WAS A WAY OUT! YAY!

So Sakura took the chance to get out of this creepy place and ran towards where the light was coming from.

But when she was almost a foot closer, a familiar figure landed on her with his knee on her back and one arm on both of her hands while the other was holding a kunai at the back of her neck.

"And where do you think you're going, Sa-Ku-Ra" the figure said with a hint of amusement while pronouncing each syllable of her name.

"Oh, nowhere in mind other than my own home you asshole!" Sakura yelled out of annoyance and disappointment.

The figure bent down to her ear, and whispered "You know, you could've been a bit nicer with the greeting. I don't really appreciate one of the walls of my hideout smashed down."

Sakura scoffed, "Whatever you say, Sasuke. I'll never apologize to you after what you've done to Konoha even if it causes my life!" she yelled out with her hidden pride.

Sasuke was not surprised that she said that. After all, once been fooled, next time not.

"You're pretty smart that you knew it was me. Otherwise, you would've been dead at the spot." Sasuke said in a calm tone.

At that moment, Team Hebi appeared and stared at both of them.

Juugo was calm as always, Suigetsu was smirking, and Karin was shocked, enraged, and jealous.

"GET OFF OF MY SASUKE, YOU SLUT!" Karin yelled out from the top of her lungs.

Everyone covered their ears when she said that. So basically, they were all trying to ignore her.

Suigetsu couldn't help himself but say "I highly doubt that the pink-haired girl is a slut since you're the actual one in here. And I also doubt that Sasuke is yours since all you do annoy the hell out of everyone."

Sasuke just looked at Sakura in a very strange matter. The look itself was so weird, that you might call him a love-struck high school boy who's looking at his long-time crush.

Sakura was just staring at Sasuke as if he was insane. 'What the hell is wrong with him? Am I that ugly to look at that he has a look like that?! If so, I'm going to hit the life out of that guy!'

Sasuke started to notice that she was glaring at him. He sighed and said "I'm not going to hurt you this time, if that's what you're thinking." With a hint of carefulness.

Sakura was thinking if this was the real jack-ass Sasuke Uchiha in front of her. But at the same time, she couldn't help but trust the guy.

So, she stood up from his grip and followed him to a room that looked like a dining table.

Juugo pulled out a chair for Sakura to sit down.

"Thank you…um?" Sakura started to say when she figured out that she doesn't know his name yet.

"It's Juugo" He said nicely and calm enough to comfort her.

"Oh, nice to meet you, Juugo" She said pleasantly as she sat down.

Sasuke sat down right next to Sakura and waited for her attention. While he did that, Karin ran up to Sasuke and tried to sit on his lap.

"Hey Sasuke-kun, let's have some fun, shall we?" Karin said with a hint of lust and disgusting-lovely-dovely-fan-girls-feelings –that-are-to-mature-for-my-liking.

"Get off of me before I beat the crap of you, bitch" He said in an annoyed tone with a disgusted expression spreading across his face.

That got Karin so shocked that she stood up and ran away while crying like a baby.

The scene was so embarrassing that I had to cancel her out of the story. Not that I care about her very much.

Sakura almost felt a hint of pity for the not-so-innocent-girl, but decided to leave that aside since she knew that Karin is old enough to take care of herself.

Sasuke turned his head away from the door and continued to stare at Sakura.

Sakura stared back and wondered about what must've been on Sasuke's mind.

She hesitated for a second, and asked "What are you thinking about, Sasuke?"

Sasuke was a bit surprised that she was trying to start a conversation with him, but he didn't show it.

"Nothing that you'll be interested in" He said, emotionless as always.

Sakura, who now felt that she knew him already, pouted and said "Why not?"

Sasuke still had that expressionless look on his face as he spoke.

"Because, it's about that dobe of boyfriend of yours." He said as Suigetsu and Juugo, surprisely, laughed at that statement.

At first, Sakura didn't know who on earth he was talking about. Thirty seconds passed and then she caught up to what he was talking about.

"HEY! NARUTO MAYBE HAS A CRUSH ON ME, BUT HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" Sakura yelled out as Suigetsu was laughing his head off at Sasuke's stupidity.

Trust me; Sasuke does tend to think about stupid ideas.

I mean, first he left the village, got stronger while training with a snake, killed his loveable brother, and joined the Akatsuki when he just recently quitted for his brother. **(AN: This is my story, there are no rules in here, UNDERSTAND?!) **

Sasuke couldn't help himself but sighed out of annoyance to the fact that he made himself think about the ramen lover dating the persistent blossom.

"Fine, I'll tell you what I'm thinking about. There is an orange idiot name Naruto Uzu-what now? I've been foolishly friends with him for about two years of my life. He loves ramen and he wants to surpass me when he already knows that it will never happen in a million years. God, he says that he's going to be the freaking Hokage when he's surely not going to be. He never, as in never in my life, ever shuts his mouth. I bet he even talks while sleeps that the neighbors have to wake up every night just to put tape on his mouth. And when he gets married, that wife of his must be wise enough to divorce him a day after the wedding. Also, if he has children, it'll be a pack of idiots who don't think at all. End of story." Sasuke said it all with a hint of annoyance.

'Then again, another friend bad-mouthing a distance enemy' Sakura thought as she sweat-dropped.

Suigetsu and Juugo laughed the whole time. But when Sasuke glared at them as he was finished, they close their mouths.

Sasuke looked at Sakura and said "Did that answer your question?" rather too calmly.

Sakura looked at Sasuke with a look of annoyance when she said "That was the longest thing I've ever heard from you in my life, Uchiha."

Suigetsu laughed out loud. "She so right, dude!"

Sasuke just glared back at Sakura.

Sakura noticed Sasuke glaring at her. "What's the matter now, chicken-ass haired guy?"

That only got Sasuke angrier and Suigetsu to laugh harder.

Sakura sensed the angry aura and immediately jumped from her seat and stood on defensive mode.

Sasuke soon stood up and charged at her with chidori.

**…Opps, did I just leave a cliffhanger?**

**Oh, never mind that, the next chapter's on the way.**

**Anyway, I might try the Itachi and Deidara later on.**

**I might also do a Gaara and Matsuri fanfic as well.**

**For now, later people! 3 **


	3. Sakura's Decision

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except plot and story!**

**Okay, maybe Sasuke's a little OOC, but never mind that, it's just a story. **

**Warning: There are some swear words!**

**This is still my first story, so please enjoy!**

_Sasuke vs. Naruto: Badmouth!_

_Chapter Three: Sakura's Decision_

As Sasuke charged at her with chidori, Sakura jumped up to avoid his attack.

Sasuke stopped his attack and looked up to see that Sakura was standing on the ceiling.

"Hn, why did I even bother challenging you out of all people?" Sasuke said in a mocking way.

Sakura's eyes widen in anger and charged at him with fury.

"SHANNARO!" Sakura screamed as she tried to attack Sasuke with her hardest punch that she learned by herself while training with Tsunade.

Sasuke, who was a quick thinker, immediately as quick as lightning, ran behind her and held onto her waist to prevent damage in his hideout.

Sakura was disappointed and frustrated that her attempt didn't work.

"Why do you always do that?!" Sakura said with annoyance.

Sasuke had an amused look in his eyes.

"Because" was all that he said.

Sakura was starting to notice that the more Sasuke talked, the more annoyed she becomes.

'Just like Naruto, always annoying me in many different ways that I can't understand' she thought as she sighed.

Sasuke let go of her and smiled a bit as he said "Come on, let's go to the hot springs"

Sakura looked at him as if he was paranoid. She'd never seen Sasuke offered, or maybe *cough-ordered-cough*, to go to such a relaxing place like the freaking hot springs!

Suigetsu and Juugo went to their rooms to get their stuff.

Sasuke turned around to face Sakura, back to his original expressionless face. "What's seems to be the problem?"

Sakura sweat dropped. 'One second he was a bit happy, the next, he's back to his bad-ass self again.' She thought as she seems to be out of dazed in reality.

Sasuke was getting impatient with her as she was boring him to death.

So without thinking, he kissed Sakura passionately to wake her into reality.

Sakura was shocked, but kissed him back.

They both knew that they've wanted this for years, and now they have it.

After 5 minutes, they pulled away from lack of air. They had a silence for a moment when Sakura broke it.

"What was that for?" She asked with caution.

"What do you think? I like you, but I think a bit too much…" Sasuke said as he was looking down so Sakura wouldn't see him blushing.

Sakura had tears in her eyes. "Are you sure, or are you fooling me?" She said in a desperate tone.

Sasuke looked at her with a serious look. "Would I lie about an important thing like this?! No! Because I've been having a need to protect you ever since the chuunins exams! Ever since then, I thought you needed Naruto more than you needed me when he was growing stronger than me! I thought you were over me! But when you confessed to me that night, you gave me a chance with you for later on. But back then, I admit I was a total idiot for never coming back for my revenge! That's in the past, and I want to share my future with my friends, especially you, Sakura Haruno!"

Sakura was shedding tears in joy and shock as she listened.

"So, will you give my chance a try?" Sasuke asked with a hint of worry that she might reject.

Sakura couldn't help but run up to him and hug him while crying on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry that I didn't notice these things! I was wrong about you! You're a good person, yet very selfless. God, what a waste of time on being mad at you…" Sakura said with love in her voice.

Sasuke hugged her back as she spoke those sweet words that he now held in heart.

"So, what will you do now?" Sasuke asked with a hint of concern.

Sakura smiled "I'm willing to go back to Konoha after the hot springs. If you're not coming, I guess I'll have to see you another time."

Sasuke thought about it for a moment and decided to stay with the person he loves, since he has nothing better to do in life for now.

"Then, I'll come with you….back to Konoha." He said as he smirked.

Sakura smiled and hugged him. "Thanks, Sasuke…"

Sasuke hugged her back. "Hn, no problem, blossom."

**I know, short and cheesy ending.**

**I might consider doing a sequel for this... if you want to.**

**Don't blame me, it's late at night and I just wanted to finish this for Mother's day!**

**And I also started on my Bleach fanfic and some of you might like it!**

**PLEASE TRY IT! **

**Other than that, DON'T FORGET TO GIVE YOUR MOTHER SOMETHING FOR MOTHER'S DAY!**

**Bye! 3**


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